


Hanahaki Love

by JB_2000



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Hints at Markjin, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:46:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6996355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JB_2000/pseuds/JB_2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything Goes Wrong. Jackson is in love. Junior is worried. Mark is right. Jaebum is too late.</p><p>And then it falls for the white petals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things Start To Go Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> So.  
> My feelings got killed by one fanfic I read the other day.  
> And as the masochist I am decided to write this.  
> Hope you all don't hate me and like this as much as I like Jackbum. (Wich, BTW, it's a lot.)  
> Aaaaand. If there's any mistake don't doubt in telling me.

The first time it happened, they were having some free time, it was almost the end of promotions, the group activities starting to get less and less frequent, and the solo schedules following right after.

Everything was normal and seemed to be going alright; with BamBam dabbing and annoying everybody, Yugyeom laughing at him in a way that it looked like he was impersonating a Hyena, Jr. silently reading while he was crouched _a little bit too close_ to Mark, and the older one poking his cheeks like it was the most entertaining thing in the world.

The only thing that felt out of place was that Youngjae wasn't there, but that was because he was completing his solo schedule, so it was alright.

For everyone's surprise, Jackson was being able to get some rest, currently spread in the couch in a way that _couldn't be comfortable_ for anyone else than him and tangled to a sleepy Jaebum, who was currently trapped under Jackson's legs, lying fully in the couch and keeping his eyes closed, trying to concentrate for the interview he was going to shoot for CeCi a few hours later, though the manager told him he needed to be ready to go a few minutes later; while at the same time trying to spend some time with the other members, which, well, didn't always work out when you're talking about these guys.

When Jackson though Jaebum was lost enough in his own mind to notice, he started to impersonate the still giggling Yugyeom, making a fool about him and his weird laugh, earning a comment from Mark, saying that the Chinese's laugh wasn't that normal either, making the maknae scream in victory, and in the moment he tried to reply and his voice cracked at the start of his awesome speech, both him and the maknaes burst out laughing hysterically, filling the room with really-high-pitched laughter.

But then Jaebum quickly moved his hand up to Jackson's head and snapped away his snapback with a grunt, slowly tangling his fingers between blonde locks, and petting Jackson's hair delicately before telling them both to _'shut up for a moment, i'm trying to rest before I go.'_

Usually, Jackson would have replied at JB and complained about his dear cap until he was angry enough to pin him down or scream at everyone who was close enough to his rage, but when he looked down at the tired and sleepy form of his leader. And when the hand that was on his hair kept caressing him, he felt that something, that something he had never felt before for anyone, now taking every single spot of his heart, rushing through his blood like a shot of adrenaline, causing him to stare in awe at the leader, who, too tired to keep scolding them for stopping his moment of deep thoughts, had closed his eyes again and leaned down on the couch, and Jackson couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful and amazing that man was, definitely not for the first time, but it definitely was the first time he felt the urge to lean down and just feel how it was the sensation of the older's lips against his own, to comfort him and keep him away from everything that could ever annoy him, to lie down in his chest and hear his heart beating, to do so much things he never actually thought about...

After what seemed like an eternity to Jackson (which he wouldn't have complained if it meant he could keep watching Jaebum and feeling his grip in his hair) and an " _eww_ " that definitely came from BamBam; a constricting feeling pushed through his throat, filling him with the sudden need to cough.

So he did, and when Jaebum moved his hand to its original place in the couch, and untangled himself from Jackson, it became even worse, the knot on his throat pushed harder and the conforming feeling in his heart suddenly turned into panic, clenching his heart and clouding his mind in nothing more than _pain, pain, pain_...

He got up and rushed to the door as quickly as his legs could work, feeling everyone's eyes on him, covering his mouth and feeling tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Once he was finally out of the dorm, he looked up, breathing harshly and trying to stop the cough, failing miserably.

He pressed his back against the wall, clenching his eyes shut and putting both hands around his throat, he panicked, he didn't knew what to do, he couldn't talk _, he couldn't breathe..._

He coughed once more, this time feeling the tears fall down trough his cheeks, he fell forward in his hand and knees and let out a pained cry, he felt like he was dying, it all became overwhelming, his throat clenched and his mind blacked out for a moment, the lack of oxygen, the pain in his chest, the feeling of throwing up...

And suddenly it stopped, he could open his eyes again, he coughed this time to catch his breath and the knot on his throat was gone.

In that moment he heard the door opening, and Jackson would be lying if he said that he wasn't expecting Jaebum to come out and hug him, tell him everything was alright; the thought of that made the pain in his chest rose for a moment.

"Jackson!"

So when Jackson turned around to see Jinyoung coming out and closing the door behind him, and he barely catched the sight of Jaebum in the same position as he was before through the door, he could swear the pain in his chest became stronger than what he could bear with.

"Oh my god... Come here. It's okay Jackson, tell me what happened."

He looked at the hand extended out for him to take, and took it without hesitation; in the moment he was on his feet, a pair of arms were tightly wrapped around him, he felt a knot in his throat again, but this time he was sure it was because of the sadness that now took place in him, ' _What is happening? Why I feel like this? I feel like I'm broken inside...'_

One of Jinyoung's hands came to his head and pressed him against his shoulder, hiding his face in his neck, the touch in his hair reminded him of Jaebum, he needed his touch, his comfort, him...

Another whimper came out from his mouth and he pressed himself closer to Jr., wrapping his arms around him and trembling with every tear that fell along with his words...

_He felt so scared... So lonely... He thought that he would die there and when someone came out he would find him in the floor, not breathing anymore... But he was mostly scared because he imagined the way JaeBum would look, he imagined the horror in his eyes, the way he would scream his name, ask him to wake up, to don't leave him alone, he imagined the tears coming out from those beautiful eyes as he said how much he loved Jackson, and that he was so, so sorry..._

And then he remembered that it wouldn't happen.

"I didn't knew.."

And it didn't matter, because Jaebum didn't love him.

"Jackson... "He lifted his face from Jinyoung's neck and looked at him. The other's face was slightly pale, his lips were parted and his eyes were glued to the floor behind Jackson, who followed his gaze and found a flower... _A white flower_ right there where he had been a few moments ago.

He looked at Jr. again, and the other looked at Jackson, with his eyes full of pity. When their glazes met each other, the younger closed his eyes for moment, tilting his head down to the floor, before starting to whisper a mantra of Jackson's name.

Jackson didn't know what was happening, but by the way his eyes became watery again when he looked at the flower, and Junior's reaction, he knew that if he wasn't broken before... He would surely be in a few days...

_His heart clenched again with fear at the thought of that._

When Jinyoung looked up his eyes were red, and there were tears rolling down his cheeks; he looked at Jackson with so much sadness, and Jackson could bet that his heart stopped beating when he heard Jinyoung whisper softly these two words he believed only existed in fantasy.

_But they were real._

_His heart was broken._

_His love was unrequited._

**“Hanahaki Disease…”**


	2. Things Start To Get Wrong Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Hurts, It hurts too much...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You For Everyone Who Has Left Kudos And Comments, I'm really glad you're liking this, like, I'm not such a great writer, yet it looks like I am improving.  
> Please continue to feed this story.

Jackson couldn't stop crying.  _It hurt so much._

But he didn't know if what hurt more was the physical pain he was suffering in both his chest and throat, or knowing that Jaebum didn't like him back, that he would never be able to feel the soft touch of those lips on his, that he would never be able to feel the butterflies in his stomach without feeling the urge to cough, that he would be spilling flowers for the rest of his life, that Jackson would never be able to hear  _those three words_ from JB's mouth.

That he would never feel what was to be loved by him. Or to wake up next to him, to try to wake Jaebum up but giving up after his grunts and a muffled " _Not Yet. Go back to sleep."_   to be hugged back to his warm chest, to be able to hear his heartbeat until he fell asleep again or Jaebum decided to finally get up, kissing Jackson softly in the lips before giving him that beautiful smile and mumbling softly " _Good morning, dear"._

Then Jinyoung moved quickly, and Jackson followed him with the eyes to see him take the flower from the floor and put it in his pocket in a way that was too fast. Then he turned his gaze to the door and Jackson followed, to be met by two sharp looking eyes, that looked at him in a mix of desbelief, worry, and concern. Some of those emotions he never wanted to see in those eyes, Jackson wanted to get close to Jaebum, to cup his face and to apologize for making him worried for something so stupid. But then the pain came back, like someone had just stabbed him, so the blonde looked to the floor, and swallowed the petals forming in his throat, he did nothing but stay there and count slowly the seconds before Jaebum asked him what happened, before he was forced to say the truth...

But instead a pair of arms surrounded him.

He looked to his side and saw Junior entering the room, looking at Jackson once before leaving, mouthing a quiet " _Tell him"_ and then closing the door slowly.

Jackson closed his eyes, and let the hand in his hair lead him to the other's neck, he let Jaebum to whisper soft and comforting words to his ear, while petting his hair and his back, he let him embrace him even when it made the feeling in his throat worse.

But he couldn't move away, he couldn't help but grasp the leader's shirt and press himself as close as he could to his body, niether the shudder of his body, not even the small cries that left his mouth along with the teardrops that eventually reached Jaebum's shoulder and neck.

_It hurt._

It hurt too much when Jaebum acted like he felt the same, when he held Jackson like he never wanted to let go, the way his face fitted perfectly in the older's neck, when Jaebum's fingers caressed his hair and Jaebum's lips pressed to his head.

_It hurt even more because Jackson knew that it wasn't love._

That's why he kept his mouth shut, even when it only seemed to increase the lump forming in his throat.

It was stupid to hurt himself this way, but his heart thumped faster in his chest due to the proximity of their bodies and his blood came to his cheeks everytime he felt Jaebum's warm breath in his head, so he grasped the other's shirt harder and hid himself in his arms...

_It hurt so much... Yet he couldn't stop..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may sound desesperate from what I said lmao.  
> I'm sorry, It's just that i'm not used to this.  
> See yaa~


	3. Don't cry anymore.

When the manager came, Jaebum was still holding him like his life depended on it.

And Jackson didn’t want to let go, the arms around him were so warm, it almost felt as Jaebum loved him. _Almost._

Jaebum leaned down and whispered softly. “ _It’s okay. I’ll come back and it will be okay.”_ Jackson sniffed again at his words, before he gave a small nod, he was sure Jaebum would come back, but still… Why did he feel like nothing would be alright?

The manager looked at him with a confused look on his face, “Did something happened?” Jackson opened his mouth, but the words got caught with the petals and he closed his mouth looking at the floor. Thankfully, Jaebum answered for him. “Not really, it’s just the usual, and it happens to all of us.” The manager raised one eyebrow. “He misses his family.” Jaebum continued and glanced at Jackson. The tone in Jaebum’s voice was a complete contrast with the way he comforted Jackson a few moments ago, returning to his usual _leader voice._

Jackson already missed Jaebum’s warm chest.

They both kept talking for a while and Jackson stood still listening to their little conversation until they left. Right before the elevator’s door closed, Jaebum turned around and nodded at Jackson with reassuring eyes.

_‘Don’t cry anymore’_ They said. He wished he could make that promise to Jaebum, because Jaebum’s eyes were shining with tears that didn’t fall, like he was pleading to Jackson to never cry again.

But he couldn’t make that promise, not when his heart was still aching and the love that was missing still lingered in his mind.

When the elevator’s door closed. Jackson started coughing again.

///

Once he managed to stop the tears, he grabbed the door’s handle and step into the room, he watched in relief that Bambam and Yugyeom were playing some videogames, and when they lifted their heads to see him, they smiled brightly, Jackson couldn’t help to smile slightly at them, it was good, to be greeted with a sincere smile, and not the worried and pity eyes that seemed to follow him since the afternoon.

They invited him to play, but he denied, his eyes still hurt from before and he was sure that Jinyoung and Mark were waiting for him, after all, even if he didn’t want them to worry, this wasn’t a situation to be okay with.

With a sight coming from Jackson’s lips, he opened the door to his and Mark’s room, The older had an arm around Junior’s waist, and the other had his face buried in Mark’s neck, his shoulders were shuddering and his hands were grasping Mark’s shirt. Jackson felt guilty, Jinyoung was crying thanks to him and his stupid crush; however, it seemed like Mark was doing a pretty well job in consoling the younger, humming softly and petting his back repeatedly.

Jaebum’s warm hug came to his mind for a moment.

Mark noticed Jackson and their glazes met each other, the corners of his lips were slightly turned upwards, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes, they looked lost, like he couldn’t believe what was happening. After Jackson smiled (or tried) back sadly, Mark moved Junior’s shoulder in a gently way, mumbled something in his ear, then looked at Jackson again and moved his head a little bit pointing to the bed.

One second before Jackson dropped to the bed next to Mark’s side, a little white flower resting on the drawer catched his attention; Jackson’s heart clenched painfully as he got closer to it and his vision got blurred with Jaebum’s image as he grabbed it with a trembling hand.

He dropped it immediately, his hand felt like it had just been put in fire, and soon the pain extended to the rest of his body, he heard a scream and realized it was him who screamed when he hit the floor, clenching his teeth as he used his right elbow to soften the fall, he also clenched his eyes shut and waited for the pain to go away, “Are you hurt? What happened?” two pair of arms surrounded him and lifted him until he was sitting in the bed. “Yes, It doesn’t hurt too much.” Jackson moved his elbow in circles trying to soothe the pain and hissed slightly when he pressed a bit with his fingers in the place he received his weight. “Why did you fell?” Junior asked again, now sitting at his left side while Mark sat on the right side “It just… Burned, when I touched it.” Jackson sighted and pointed at the flower now in the floor.

He was hurt thanks to everything that happened earlier, and his tears were barely contained when he thought of the leader; but in this moment he was mostly confused, sure, he knew a bit about Hanahaki Disease, but the fact that it was actually happening to him, right then and there, was something he never thought possible, and not with someone he could… Date, or confess and be with forever. He fell in love with someone that wouldn’t ever love him back…

Mark nodded and placed one hand in his right knee, making him come back to reality with a firm pressure. “Hey. Light up a little bit, there is the possibility that this will end fine.” Mark’s smile sent warmness into Jackson’s body, and for a moment the pain stopped.

With his lips pressed into a thin line, Jackson looked at the flower again and furrowed his eyebrows, losing himself in his thoughts.

He’s right…

_Right?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking too long to uptade, but I've been in final exams and I've been busy with other proyects and bruh. I'm trying to keep uptading so yeah.  
> I will probably uptade in a week or so, since I'll be busy until 26th of this month.   
> Hope you're liking it!


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